Related
By Love
Now there stood by the cross
of Jesus his mother, and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of
Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene.
When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing
by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son!
Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour
that disciple took her unto his own home. John
19:25-27
Greet
Rufus, eminent in the Lord, also his mother and mine. Romans
16:13
When I was newly married I made a huge gaff with my mother in law. She
was visiting us and came with me to conduct a service at a local
senior's home. I was introducing her to some of the nursing sisters who
ran the home. I introduced her as my mother in law. These dear nursing
sisters were from Europe and my mother in law was from Holland. Well
among the bunch of them I received quite a bruising that day.
It went something like this:
"Sister Stephanie, this is my mother in law..."
"You should not call her that!"
"But...she is my mother in law"
"No, you should just call her mother."
"But I have a mother who lives in Alberta."
"This is your wife's mother?"
"Yes"
"Then if she is good enough to give you a wife, she is good enough to
call her mother."
My mother in law was beaming smugly the whole time.
She may have poked me in the ribs a couple of times. I don't remember.
I was reminded of this conversation on more than one occasion.
But I did not learn the lesson. I still just could not bring myself to
call her "mom" when my mother was still living.
I guess as Dr. Seuss would have said like in the Grinch, I missed a good opportunity
to have my heart enlarged.
But I failed that test, sadly.
The shoe was on someone else's foot on a later occasion.
When Valerie and I would visit Mexico, we got the know the bank manager
in the town where my brother lived.
I had a small account in her bank and if I ever corresponded with her
she would always ask, "how is our mother?"
She had met my mother who also visited Mexico on occasion.
I found this wonderfully charming. That Aurora would refer to my mother
as "our mother."
She was not related by blood, but chose to be related by love.
On the cross as he is dying, Jesus says to Mary and to John, "woman
behold your son, son behold your mother."
He is entrusting the care of his mother to his closest friends.
In the sixteenth chapter of Romans, there is a long list of folks to
whom he sends greetings. Among them he says, "greet Rufus, eminent in
the Lord, and his mother and mine." He is saying greet Rufus and our mother. Paul had adopted this
dear woman who apparently had adopted him.
Related not by blood but by love.
Since we have married, Valerie has taught me something about this
principal.
At first when someone would ask us, "how many children to you have?", I
would answer, "I have two daughters and Valerie has a son and daughter."
She taught me to say, "between us we have four children."
Related by love.
One of the great delights of our family is that our children really do
care for one another.
Alec and Carlie's children will be as precious to me as Sam and Micah
are to Valerie.
And they are.
Related by love.
Today is Mother's Day.
For some it will be a time of honoring and receiving honor.
For others it may well be a time of sorrow or just nothing special.
Every celebration carries the seeds of its own sorrow.
Broken relationships or lost relationships punctuate some celebrations
today.
We all have mothers, living or dead.
We honor them or their memory, and what gifts they gave us.
Jesus loved his mother and wanted to see that she was cared for.
But Jesus was not sentimental about family.
When his siblings seemed not to understand what he was doing, he would
ask, "who is my mother or my brother? It is whoever does the will of
God."
We are related by our love for a common heavenly Father.
Related by blood, yes.
Related by love, absolutely.
This morning in our prayer time I am going to offer prayer for broken
relationships. Broken family relationships. Those sorrows are real.
But I also want to celebrate the multitude of mothers we all have and
the multitude of children available to us all, as well as those related
by blood.
I am going to read you an article from Thursday's Globe and Mail
newspaper. It is entitled "In Praise of Other Mothers"
Melanie
Filiatrault has 42
children, not counting the three she gave birth to herself.
This Sunday,
the
52-year-old Kelowna,
British Columbia resident expects to receive Mother's Day calls
from about 12 of the boys and girls she has provided foster care to
over the
past 20 years - kids she considers her own.
"Even that
one call
from a child shows that you've made a difference in their life," said
Ms.
Filiatrault, who has a collection of Mother's Day cards and trinkets
piled in
her attic.
But while the
children
themselves express gratitude, some of Canada's approximately 35,000
foster
families say their efforts go largely unnoticed by the rest of society,
not
just on the second Sunday in May, but throughout the year.
"If you go
into it
thinking you're going to get rewarded, you probably won't," Ms.
Filiatrault said. "But if you go into it thinking you're going to make
a
difference in a child's life, it'll be worth it."
Yesterday, a
group of
Toronto area foster parents gathered for a special audience with author
and
actress Victoria Rowell, who told them about the difference foster care
made in
her life.
Famous for
her role as
Drucilla Winters on the soap opera The Young and the Restless,
Ms.
Rowell has written a book, The Women Who Raised Me, chronicling
the 18
years she spent in foster care in the United States before becoming a professional
ballet dancer and, eventually, a daytime television star.<> She wrote the book to pay
tribute to those who wouldn't let her fall through the cracks, but also
to
celebrate all the "other mothers" - foster parents, social workers,
mentors, aunts and grandmothers who often play a major role in a
child's
development. "What they did was
raise a child, collectively," she said. "There are millions of women
who have done what these women did for me."
<>
<>
Ms. Filiatrault said she
thinks of all her foster children on Mother's Day, no matter where they
are
now, scattered across the country.
<>"You always hope
they're doing awesome," she said. "I'm just very pleased and honoured
to have been their parent for a short period of time."
1
This morning in our prayer time I am also going to offer time for you
to make silent prayers for all the people in your life who helped raise
you. All your "other mothers". And I will allow some time for you to
remember the "other children" in your life--the people whose lives you
invested in.
One of God's good gifts is the gift of family. A mother's love (or a
father's) for her children is universal. God made us well.
But unlike many of the animal species who will not care for anyone
else's children, God has also given us the gift of an abundant love for
our "other children" that we find around us every day.
We will give thanks today for the mothers we are related to by blood.
But we will also give thanks for the mothers we are related to by love.
One of my boyhood friends is named Phil. His parents were divorced and
I remember in junior high he was going to meet his father again after
many years. He told me one day as we sat in the cafeteria how he
dreamed about his dad.
They met and for a while the relationship was healing for Phil, but his
dad had a new life and a new family.
Phil lacked a few social graces, and though he tried, he just did not
fit in.
Being rejected was devastating to him, but friendship with the family
of a mutual friend saw him through that crisis. He borrowed Ian's
family for a season.
Years later when his mother was dying he told me how he also considered
my mother as his own.
He would always call her when he came through, and our mother always had time and kind
encouraging words for him.
I know you have your own stories of people who made an investment in
your life, and children who needed love and found your home a welcome
refuge.
Some folks we are related to by blood and some we are related to by
love.
And its never too late to offer someone your love--some mother who
needs love or some child who needs another mother.
Preached May 13, 2007
Dr. Harold McNabb
West Shore Presbyterian
Church
Victoria, British Columbia
Notes
1. The Globe and
Mail, "In Praise of Other Mothers", Thursday, May 10,2007,
online edition.
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