The
experience of loss often involves intense emotions, pain, and
confusion. Not an easy time to make clear decisions about the
most helpful direction for our lives to take. And yet, the way we
live through loss strongly influences the depth of our healing.
In
my clinical practice, I see numerous examples of adults and
children who are helped by becoming "informed consumers" of the
grieving process. Acquiring information and understanding of themselves
and their journey, they experience an empowering which allows them to
ride the waves of grief more surely, and to move consciously towards
the type of healing or growth that matches their personalities.
Many
of these people kept journals prior to encountering their loss.
They continue to write afterwards and often read from their journals
during our sessions. I have suggested to others that they keep a
journal.
Likewise,some
people are drawn to courses and workshops when they want to learn more
about a topic or be with others who have the same interests or
concerns. When these people experience loss,they benefit from
grief and loss recovery courses.
Journal
writing and attending courses are just two of many aids to help the
adjustment process. There is no "correct" strategy, however, so
if you feel you would benefit more from just reading this guide, trust
yourself. IHaving said that, if you have never journalled, the
following points may encourage you to try:
Benefits
of writing
- Writing
provides a clear way to see changes, progress or blocks in your
journey
- Writing
is a good way to ensure important insights and decisions are remembered
- Writing
your experiences can allow release of strong emotions
- Issues
often become clearer when ìdown in "black and white"
Specific
benefits of using this book as a journal
There
are many helpful books available that give information about the
grieving process. Sometimes my clients tell me that, during
journaling, they wonder if a feeling is "normal" or if there is
knowledge that would clarify an issue they are exploring. They
aren't sure where to find the nformation they require. I believe
that a journal, which also provides basic information about the journey
through loss, provides support on a number of levels.
I
developed some of the models in this guide to respond to client
concerns, for example "How do I know when I'm ready to make a major
change after a loss has occurred?" My models are published in
various professional journals, books and magazines but this is the
first time they have been located in one place.
I
frequently hear that it is hard to journal when grieving
intensely. One man stated that he wrote "reams and reams of
stuff" but later had difficulty finding a particular dream or insight
that he wanted to reread. A young woman complained of "writer's
block". Filled with emotions, she couldn't sort our what to
write. With sections such as Blocks and Affirmations this guide
provides structure for your writing.
Excerpt from A Path
Through Loss © 2001 Nancy Reeves